- Why do penguins walk so awkwardly? Because they're walking on ice.
- What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
- What do you call alternative medicine that's been proven to work? Medicine.
- What did the socialists have before the candle? The electric light.
- I don't often talk to liberal arts majors, but when I do, I order large fries.
- `You and I come by road or rail, but economists travel on infrastructure.` - Margaret Thatcher
- A biologist, and chemist, and a statistician go hunting. The biologist misses five feet to the right, the chemist misses five feet to the left, the statistician yells "we got it!"
- The average human being has one breast and one testicle.
- Have you heard of Y2K Jelly? It allows you to insert four digits into your date where you could previously only fit two.